The Working Mom's Guide To Keeping the Romance Alive

{Our internet went out at home Saturday night. I went MIA and couldn't even let the world know!!  Crazy!  Luckily, I had a guest post ready to go. The fundraiser will still be good to go for a few more days until I can fully get back online.  I apologize... but then again, I DON'T! Because that means you have a few more days to give a couple bucks!!}

This week, I am so happy to have Maria guest posting for us here on The Working Mom's Guide To series.  Today's topic is not an easy one to write about because, well, it's tough!  Take it away, Maria!




Keeping The Romance Alive

Many moons ago, I took for granted all of the stolen romantic moments

that I spent with my husband. It was so easy to make plans to go out to

dinner or to just spend time together. Parenthood has a way of bursting

that bubble of romantic bliss. Nothing could have ever prepared me for

the change in my life that occurred as a result of becoming a mother.

Although it is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I

wouldn't trade for the world, it has forced my husband and I be a lot

more creative in the ways that we demonstrate our love for each other

and spend that special quality time together.

The first thing that we had to adjust to was the inability to spend

time alone. You all know that there is no such thing as alone time when

you have children. Initially, it was difficult to find time to just be

together and talk without always having little ears and eyes around.

This was especially true when my sons were infants for obvious reasons.

Even then, though, we would make time to sit together and hold hands

while watching a movie when the baby was sleeping. These moments of

closeness worked miracles for keeping us connected during a time when we

were up to our elbows in formula, pampers, spit up, and crying babies.

We looked forward to those moments when we could just enjoy each other's

company and say so much to each other without saying a word.

Now that my boys are four and seven, it is a little easier to have

actual conversations because the boys are independent and they can

entertain themselves and each other in various ways. I'm not going to

lie to you and tell you that we are able to go on dates and have much

time away from the boys. That really hasn't changed much. There are a

number of reasons why this still proves to be difficult. First, we both

work full time with Hubby working nights and me working days so we are

like two ships passing in the night on weekdays. Second, I don't really

have the kind of family support where I can leave my boys to go out for

the evening. Lastly, everything that we do revolves around our sons,

which I'm sure is the case for many of you who are parents.

So, I guess the million dollar question is, how do I keep the

romance alive in our marriage with everything that I have going on

daily? The answer is not simple and it will require that you put in

that extra effort, even when you are exhausted or when you are not

feeling particularly romantic. One thing I like to do is to text my

husband when he is at work with cute or sweet sayings. I find that it

lets him know that I am thinking about him and it is something private

between us that doesn't include the kids. Since I started doing it, I

have noticed that Hubby has started to text me sometimes so that I wake

up in the morning to find a romantic comment from him. It is really

nice to know that he is also thinking about me when he is at work and

this is something that is very easy to do.

Another thing that we do daily is that we make time, every

afternoon, to talk about how each other's day went. I really look

forward to these chats because they make me feel as if we are part of

everything the other does even when we are both running around with the

kids or back and forth to work. This usually takes place while the boys

are doing their homework so it gives us a little while to speak without

constant interruptions. I'm sure that my husband enjoys these talks too

because he reminds me to sit with him for a little while every day when

I come home from work.

It is really important to be aware of each other's needs and not to

forget about making time to nurture your relationship with your spouse.

Many of us get so caught up in raising our children, working, and our

finances that we forget that marriages and relationships also require

time and attention. It is easy to get overwhelmed with life and to

forget to make time for romance and intimacy. Believe me, if I can

steal moments to share with my husband you can too. We are definitely

burning the candles at both ends by both of us working and yet, we

recognize the importance of stopping regularly to recognize and to

celebrate each other. You will find that a little effort will go a long

way in keeping the candle lit in your marriage and you will both be much

happier employees and parents because of it.

Maria has been through it all and will continue to get through it all, hence the title of her blog.  Mother of 2 boys and wife to her soulmate... going on 11 years. Native New Yorker raised in Spain until the age of 8, she believes your experiences make you the person that you are so you should not regret one single event in your life. Maria blogs over at Tough Cookie Mommy.

What are your tips for keeping your marriage fresh and strong?