Mommy guilt... it's everywhere. Stay-at-home moms, working moms, single moms, married moms. We really do all have it. Whether it's because we're fumbling around with household chores and daily activities or trying to keep from fumbling a huge project at work. It just all shows up in different ways. For me, sharing and connecting with other moms (working or not) helps to know that I'm not alone.
In a recent reading of Working Mother magazine, I came to realize a few things about guilt. Sometimes it comes from me and other times it comes from another person. Wow. Strangely powerful.
Real guilt comes from you. Like when you decided to "work late to impress your boss rather than tend to your sick child."
Referred guilt comes from something else. Like the Perfect Mom in your moms group who wonders why you don't join her reading club or why you don't take your kids to music class every day.
So, ask yourself... "Is this something I actually regret?" If you regret staying late at work, then the guilt may be real. But also, no reason to dwell. Forgive but don't forget. Learn from the mistake next time your child is sick and politely tell your boss you have family affairs to attend to. If you don't regret saying no to the book club, then don't stress! No matter how much she lays the guilt on. Get over it.
Mommy guilt does not have to take over your life. No matter what it's about.
Now, for this week's prompts... of course you can always write about your past week at work. Ups and downs. Vents and praises. Or you can choose a prompt below.
#1. Talk about a moment of mommy guilt (and how you pulled through).
#2. Proudest moment ever (work or motherhood related).
Tell your story, link up and of course, be kind and visit other working mamas!! (Oh, and grab the button over there on the right!)
(Some information and quotes taken from June/July 2010 issue of Working Mother Magazine.)
(This post is also linked up to Word Up, Yo!)
12 comments:
I found your blog from Adrienne's blog. I love this post and I decided to follow you and link up. Please excuse me while I take a look around and get to know you and your blog a little better.
I hate it when other moms push their ideas of what you should do on you. Don't they realize that we question ourselves enough?
I have learned that I don't feel guilty over things other people expect (be it moms or my mother-in-law). I am getting so much better about my guilt.
Oh mommy guilt. Blah. I've been making a concerted effort to deflect any all mommy guilt, whether from within or from without. My life is just too damn busy to deal with it right now.
I'm a single mom of 2 teen kids. I work full-time for a world-wide corporation. I also have a sewing business from home and online. It is a crazy life, and unfortunately a GUILITY life. I want to be super mom but it is impossible. I just try my best.
Yoli :)
Very familiar with Mommy guilt! Real and referred. I always thought my guilt was just centered around me working outside of the home. But I've come to realize, that even if I was a stay at home mom, I would still feel guilty about a huge number of things. As moms, we can be so hard on ourselves. And sadly each other at times.
Mary Ellen
It is so uncanny that we both blogged about the same topic, but I guess it is forefront in our minds. Great minds, huh?
I am so glad that I'm not the only one that feels this way... what a great meme. I have learned a lot from the other entries. Mostly that I'm normal.
:)
Look at you - working 2 memes into 1 post!
This was a great one. I was really able to use both questions and I am super happy about my post. Thanks for the shout out on Twitter!!
I like how you shared about the types of guilt. You are so right!!!
We all have that guilt don't we! I am dreading going back to work in the fall:( I don't look forward to it AT ALL, but I know Kendall will be fine and I will be fine too. I at times feel guilty because I LOVE my job and would never think of quitting my job, but I know it's nothing to feel bad/guilty about! I think I might have to play along with your Working Mom posts sometime soon:)
This topic really hit home for me. I work part-time to try and spend quality time with my little boy, but sometimes, on the days that I have my little boy, I'm so tired, I feel like I'm cheating him out of quality playtime or I've gotton so behind on the house that our quality time is interupted by cleaning or doing laundry. Ugh. There's not enough time during the day--I'm always fumbling for those few extra minutes. They have to be somewhere. What a great topic and what a great blog!
Great post and prompts this week. I'm well familiar with mom guilt myself. Enjoyed reading some of the other posts... thanks for putting this one on!
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